October 15, 2010

So I'll be lighting my candle tonight :)

Well today's post is a special one for me. I don't know if any of you are aware, but today is a day for remembering our babies and/or pregnancies lost. As someone who lost a baby in utero a little over 3 years ago, this day is very near and dear to my heart. For the longest time I felt as if not speaking/writing about it would help me to forget it. But the truth is I felt so alone because I didn't share. Once I was finally able to speak about my pain, I saw that there's more people who've gone through the pain of losing a baby and/or pregnancy than I thought. Which, is really sad if you think about it. But it was comforting to know that all my feelings of uselessness, sadness, regret and pain were not feelings I felt alone.

There's actually a website dedicated to the awareness of 'remembering our babies' and if you're interested, you can view it here.

So in honor of the little boy I lost, I am lighting a candle at 7 p.m. and tried to interpret the light blue on my nails. I used OPI What's With The Cattitude? I then decided it needed a ribbon that I wasn't very good at freehanding. But I drew it on with American Apparel's Rose Bowl. Which also sort of backfired, because someone earlier thought this was a breast cancer manicure. Which to be honest, is cool. Not only is that another great thing to be aware of, but I thought it was very breast cancer like myself.

Plus, since I'm not very good at nail art and trying to put a second color on the ribbon would totally screw it up with my unsteady hands, I decided to leave it. I know what it means and that's really what counts, right?


Outside in the shade

And here it is with the ribbon.
Also, I have to apologize for the leftover residue of Valerie in my cuticles. I did this lastnight and honestly could not see any leftover polish in my cuticles. Of course today I saw it when cropping my pictures, but by then I was too lazy to retake any pictures :(

I hope you are all doing well. And to anyone who has lost a baby and/or pregnancy, know you're not alone and it does get easier to get through the days :) Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for looking!


  1. So sorry for your lose. I'm in the same boat you are in. I lost my little girl 3 years ago. I posted about this Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness on my blog and also did a mani for it. Your mani is beautiful, I think you did a good job.

  2. Hi Kesha, thank you for your condolences and I offer you mine as well for your loss. I had to take a look at your post and wanted to say that I love your interpretation of it and your candle! Thanks for taking a moment to comment about your loss as well. I think if other people speak up about their own experiences, it might help someone else who still can't bring themselves to discuss it yet feel a tiny bit better knowing there are more of us who have felt this pain. And I hope you have a wonderful weekend! <3

  3. Oh my...this touches me so badly...we lost 24 years ago my middle brother when he was 10 months old, my parents yet cannot even talk about it, and i do think about him all the time, he got sick and couldn't save him 'cause my parents didn't have the money at that time for a better hospital, he died of a bad diarrhea...oh my god.

  4. love this color and the ribbon looks great

  5. Toesthattwinkle - Thank you :)

    SakuraBlossom - I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss. I know it was a long time ago, but this is the type of thing that leaves it's mark on your life :( Isn't it great that medically we've made so many advances now that what used to kill a child before might not today? It was a painful journey, but I think all the unwilling sacrifices people made with their loved ones had a direct affect on modern medicine today. Hopefully you have lots of healthy and happy kids :D

  6. Love the polish.